Goodbye 2005.

This year has been the best year I have had in a long time.

Quantitatively, I have made more new friends this year than I have in any other year, and kept these friendships. I have patched up many relationships that i've always wanted to, and some which i didn't want to but am glad i did anyway. Even my GPA has seen improvement, and i only added that because i couldn't think of any other quantitative information to add in.

But what are numbers but a cheap man made substitute when there is nothing else to testify with?

And I have things far more important than numbers, that made this year mean so much to me. I have enriched myself in ways I never asked for, and never even expected. So many opportunities have come my way, and I've finally had the courage to grab them and ride along. This year alone, I have improved as a person, both individually and in relation to others, more than my whole secondary school life put together. And if thats a sweeping statement, wait till you hear the next line. I know that next year is going to be even better.

Because by the end of this year, the most important lesson I learnt is that there is nothing more powerful than what is inside of me. I've cut myself repeatedly in the same area with a blunt knife, and bled far too much for me not to realise this. I've been excessively stupid this year, even for me. But as Mariah Carey as this may sound, I don't regret it, because I understand why I had to go through all that. And I forgive myself for it.

And once you reach that thought, things get a lot more bearable. I've gritted my teeth through everything I thought was not bearable. I never broke, not once.

This year I realised how bright the stars really are, and that they don't just shine for me.
I've felt small beside the ocean.
I've cried tears in the rain.
I've held someone's hand and felt energy surge through the little drops of sweat that bound us together.
I've felt the physical aspect of the ties of history.
I've said I love someone and meant it so much that the words didn't make sense anymore.
I've gotten carried away by desire.
I have cried because of things my tongue said and my mind didn't mean.
I have danced.
I have sung a song to someone and meant it.
I have kept a secret.
I have felt the sun's rays on my body, and tasted the salt of my skin afterwards.
I have shouted at someone out of love.
I have broken borders.
I have leapt into fields even though they are clearly not greener than my own.
I have kissed a child.
I have sung a song to the sea.
I have wished upon a shooting star.

I have hopes, wishes, and expectations for 2006. But only the things within my circle of control. I want to tick things off my list. But if all else fails, I want to live the next year with as much intensity as I have lived my last. And still, with no regrets.

Cheers, and a very happy new year to everyone!