words and their absence

Why do people only feel comfortable when they're filling the air with words?

Sometimes I feel that the thing I am most afraid of is silence. i hate sitting in front of someone staring into their eyes, without knowing what to say. Or without a need to say anything. Its perplexing how we all seek clarity, but when we have it, and express it through silence, its never enough.

I like hearing what you don't have to say. I really do. I'm just not used to satisfaction. Its not without a reason that i keep insisting you talk to me. I just have this feeling that if you stop talking to me, then we'll have nothing to talk about and then we're all doomed because we will be hanging on to an awkward silence. Awkward silences aren't very pleasant things to hang on to. They make me feel all itchy.

But Morrie said that we must get used to silences. As we must get used to tears, and touch. I listened to Morrie, really, as much as i appeared not to. He made a lot of sense, although it was sense packaged in hallmark sugary goodness. You learn to suck your way past the goodness, into the hard bitter truth. Which is that we must get used to silences.

it should come as no surprise that people describe conversations with me as circular.


All I have is a voice. We must love one another or die. We must love one another or die.