Cochin!

Will be off to Cochin tomorrow, 19th November.

Will only be back on 2nd December.


Please do not send me any messages, or try calling my handphone, as you might reach my roaming number. Or my mother.


Thank you.

Bye!

Parachutes

In a haze, a stormy haze, I’ll be round
I’ll be loving you always, always.
Here I am and I’ll take my time
Here I am and I’ll wait in line always
Always.

-Parachutes, by Coldplay

Sometimes

Another one of my favourites, from PostSecrets:

Hilary Duffs and Sugar Puffs.

Since i have been sleeping excessively in the afternoons for the past few days, sleeping at night has become rather difficult. I solve this problem by watching TV late into the night, which I have not been able to do for many months.

Yesterday, my dad and i both wanted to watch TV late at night.

At this juncture, i feel responsible to tell you that my father and i never get along when it comes to TV. My father enjoys watching anything with Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington, cops, fire trucks, guns, or any combination of the abovementioned elements. He also enjoys watching animals on national geographic. i enjoy none of these, and pretty much anything else. You see how the two circles hardly overlap.

But the one thing that we managed to find in common was Disney Channel. So we switch it on, and the Lizzie McGuire movie is just about to start. Having never watched Lizzie McGuire before, and dying to find something to watch, i decide to stop and wait to see if there was any sign of rebellion. There wasn't.

So i put down the remote and watch the Lizzie McGuire Movie, on Disney Channel. Unlike some of my friends *coughcoughdeecoughcough*, i have nothing against disney. I have minor issues with Hilary Duff, but i decide to put them aside for the noble cause of not wanting to start another argument with my father.

It was a good movie, more or less. Italy was beautiful, and Paolo was equally beautiful. Enough to get me through the movie. I liked Gordo; he fits into my typical favourite kind of fictional character stereotype- nerdy, misunderstood and eloquent. I enjoyed the movie, and i'm not ashamed to admit it. I went to sleep with very feel-good thoughts about myself and life in general.

This morning i decided to put aside my prejudices against Hilary Duff and google her. I found her website, and read through her biography. And the whole purpose of me writing this entire entry is to quote this one line that i read in the biography, which made me laugh-


"Speaking of idols, here's what another one has to say: "Hilary is just completely a light to the world," no less an authority than Britney Spears told Popstar! magazine. "So beautiful and so incredibly sweet. Her music is amazing . . . she should just be herself and never change."

Britney Spears is the authority on teen idols! Doesn't that crack you up? Because its so true! Who would be a better person to comment on Hilary Duff's popularity, than Britney Herself? And she told it to Popstar! magazine, too. Whoa, man. Talk about Rekha-Aunty-Syndrome. Does everyone know Popstar! magazine, or what?

okay. maybe everyone does. i don't though. but thats not the point. thats far from the point. in fact, i forgot the point. this entry was only written to amuse myself at 00.45, when my eyes dont shut upon command. because i sleep excessively in the afternoons these days. have i mentioned that?

And i wonder why people describe conversations with me as circular.

Eternal Optimists and their Eternal Annoyance.

Few things annoy me more than people who try extremely hard to find beauty in the world, and to find the positive attributes of everyone, everything, and every situation. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I hae optimists. Sometimes the glass is half full, I fully agree.

But when there is no water left in the glass and people claim that its probably better that way, that bothers me.

If there was a huge fire and thousands of people die, and you tell me that its probably better because it teaches people to cherish things more, i won't agree with you. There are other ways to realise that.

If you tell me that the tsunami was gods way of showing us the humanity in people, and is thus fully justified, i will vehemently deny your point. I might even beat you up. It bothers me when people say things like that.

Because these are the people who sit back, watch thousands of people die in an earthquake, watch trains derail, watch floods claim dozens of lives, watch terrorists bomb buildings, and just say tsktsk. Pity. But you know what? Its alright, because the trees are green, the birds are chirping and the sky is blue. What more can you ask for?

Psh.

I will, without a doubt, hit you if you tell me that.

Because today's world is not beautiful. There is more ugly than beautiful, and people have to start accepting that. And doing something about it.

If the sky is always blue for you, you will never know what to do when it rains.

Not to sound like a girl (yeuch), but

IF SOMEONE HAS THURSDAY'S COPY OF URBAN, AND HAS ALREADY READ AND ABSORBED ALL THE INFORMATION IN IT, PLEASE LEND IT TO ME. THANK YOU.

I don't have much time for an update right now, but here's a quick one.

Today i learnt about the importance of perseverance. I'm glad i didn't make a big deal out of the whole dance thing, and gave it a shot. because now i'm almost liking it. and who cares who thinks what of me, right? because i gave it a shot, and i'm too proud of myself to endure nasty comments by anyone. that isn't really a warning, because nothing will happen to you if you do. My pride will shield me.

Syaz is really good at dance. When she was doing her whole hiphop thing, I just sat down on the floor and looked at her in awe. How do you manoeuver your body in ways like that, especially when your feet don't seem to listen to the signals your brain sends it. Add that to the list of things that will be the cause of my death one day. Rebellious feet, i mean.

Lately i've been learning a lot of new lessons. And relearning a lot of old lessons. I have a week and a day before I leave for Cochin. Imagine the lessons i'm going to learn there, if i'm learning so much in the preparation process alone. I can't wait, really. I am very excited about it. More than FAM, even. Because suddenly, wearing a pretty dress, doing my hair up, and taking a lot of pictures doesn't seem as appealing as going to a foreign country, helping teenagers, and learning more than i ever would staying in Singapore.

And just to add- I don't think its fair that I play consistently well and lose when others play horribly and suddenly take a huge leap forward and win. Not fair at all. It always happens to me- in school, in relationships, in life. Now in scrabble. I hate losing like this. Especially this game, because I made great words.

But its alright, because I learnt a few new tricks. And next game- Sneha's going to get back. I will win amma and appa, and win them well. hah!

I have suffered innumberable losses at scrabble today.

The last straw was when Sam beat me.
With his 45 pointer word.


Hmph.
So i decided to give it a rest today. Maybe I'm just tired.
I just need practice.

Besides, what is loss but a state of mind?

Damn i wish Kamal Haasan was young again.

The apsara in my room is cracking.

I recall she was facing me a few days ago, but today when i woke up she was facing the other direction.

She also has another crack right down her back, next to her hair. It bothers me that appa doesn't seem to care about her, after showing her off to every single person who came into the house. I am scared to touch her because she's so fragile. But she's turning white with age, and it hurts me to look at something so beautiful go to waste like that.

Something beautiful going to waste.
hhm.

Chech, thanks for replying to that mail so quickly. I am not going to paint the town red. This town doesn't need anymore red. Perhaps a tinge of brown would do it some good, but most definitely not red.

Besides, you've seen me paint. The town deserves better.

I command that if you visit my blog, you tag me. Don't make me track you down. I wish I knew how to do that.

While I'm at it, i also need to learn how to get through password protected blogs. Its a long standing ambition of mine.

Madras on Rainy Days

Disclaimer: this is not another review


I just finished reading Madras on Rainy Days by Samina Ali.
It made me cry.

You probably think i cry all the time, because i always say that this made me cry or that made me cry.

Let me be absolutely honest. This is the complete list of all the books i have read, movies i have watched, or songs i have heard that made me cry.

1. Madras on Rainy Days
2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
3. Yellow, by Coldplay
4. Titanic
5. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
6. Nayakan

That is it. That is the complete comprehensive list.
If i ever told you that anything else made me cry, I lied. Sometimes things make me tear, or evoke a lot of emotion in me. But only the abovemetioned six things have ever made me sob.

Madras on Rainy days made me cry not out of sympathy, or empathy. This is the type of sadness I have never before felt in my own life, so it can't be sympathy. I have never been in a scenario like the one that made me cry, so it can't be empathy either. I don't suspect I ever will be, so it even lacks the element of fear.

What i felt that made me cry was sorrow. Sorrow for Henna. Sorrow for the baby that had to die. Sorrow for Sameer, who is a victim of circumstances that he created for himself, yet he could never help. Sorrow for the main character, whose name i never got, whom i wish i could understand. Sorrow for Amme, who could not cry. Sorrow for Zeba, who felt it too.

The characters were very complex, and i need to read it a few more times before i can understand why they did certain things, or what compelled them to say the things they did. Many of the themes, i thought, were a bit too mature for me to understand.

But it was beautifully written. And its one of those books that i know i will never forget. and i will always draw parallels to, perhaps not in my own life, but in the things that go on around me.

I am glad i finally have time to read. Literature is truly one of the greatest joys in my life.

Reviews!

This is a long overdue review entry.

First, The Glass Palace by Amitav Ghosh

This book is a rare find.
You probably know, if you're reading this, that I love books by Asian authors. In particular, Indian authors. Once in a while you find brilliant books by Non-Asian authors about Asia, or set in an Asia. The latter can be wildly exciting, to see a scenario that i am all too familiar with,through the eyes of a foreigner. When I read Shantaram, for example, his views about Bombay and all its intricacies are so new to me, that its almost titillating.

But it is rare that you find a novel by an Indian author, which is not set in India. I did not have high expectations of this book, to be frank. I had read The Hungry Tides, by the same author, and did not think that a writer who was so used to and so good at describing the Indian subcontinent, would be able to apply himself to a completely different background. I did no research about the book, although I had heard about it before from someone. I was not particularly thrilled about starting to read this book. The only reason I even picked it up was because my father told me to.

I was richly rewarded.

This book starts off in pre-WWII Mandalay. The land is ruled by King Thebaw and Queen Supayalat. The characters in the book are surrounded by rich, lavish landscapes. The poverty and hypocrisy in the land only serves to increase the charisma and charm of this land. Ghosh wrote the book in such a way that you know you should feel some sort of hatred towards the way the country is run, yet in contrast to the way it will come to be run, you wish it just stayed this way. The old charm, you could call it.

It moves on to Ratnagiri, in India, due to the circumstances in the book that I do not wish to reveal. Ratnagiri is equally lustrous, though more through the characterisation than the landscapes. Each character is richly moulded, and exudes a sense of loneliness that i could identify with, but only enough to understand. Not to the extent of empathy. By intentionally leaving out desriptions of relationships between characters, especially ones whose lives are monotonous, Ghosh is able to provoke emotion in the reader towards the few relationships in the book that are focused on. These relationships then become integral, and the reader feels an affinity towards the characters involved in them.

From Ratnagiri, the book moves on to more familiar locations like Malaya and Singapore. From this point on, the richness of culture, and of family ties and relationships that Ghosh has built uptil this point become a sort of backing for everything that is going to come. It is this familiarity that accompanies the reader through all the journeys that are to come. This bond that has already been formed with the characters and their families will form the basis for every tear, every smile, every sigh- every emotion evoked in the reader.

All in all, a brilliant book. The plot, which is naturally of primary importance, is well researched, and well written. It may prove difficult to read at times, but the plot is far too interesting for you to put it down.

Amitav Ghosh did not fail me.

Next: The Calcutta Chromosome- described by my father as "bizarre" and "surreal" and "very unlike Ghosh's other books." I'll just have to read it for myself.

More of my favourite books, which I don't have time to recommend because I have to go out and deposit things at the laundry and run other errands of similar nature:

The Wind-up Bird Chronicles- Haruki Murakami
Norwegian Wood- Haruki Murakami
Shantaram- Gregory David Roberts
Life of Pi- Yann Martel
The Hungry Tides- Amitav Ghosh
The Joy Luck Club- Amy Tan [a little melodramatic. but a good read nonetheless.]
A Fine Balance- Rohinton Mistry
Family Matters- Rohinton Mistry
God of Small Things- Arundhati Roy

Have fun reading these!
I plan on doing a film review, as soon as i get the time to.

Cheers!

List of things to do before leaving:

1. buy backpack from queensway
2. buy all other necessities
3. dental appointment
4. violin class(es)
5. class chalet!
6. FAM!
7. movie screening!
8. Harry Potter!
9. Learn CXC dance
10. Vet through publications booklet
11. finish reading Brick Lane
12. get new songs, download and charge zen.
13. find a book to take
14. watch The Cow.

Dear Sir,

I hope you will understand why I didn't practice my violin before class today.
I meant to wake up at 8 am to practice.

But you see, my hippopotamus was in labour. I pray you understand, or will atleast try to imagine, how difficult it is to leave a hippopotamus that is in labour. Especially when there is a cocky rabbit in the immediate vicinity, spouting innecessary remarks. I have a feeling you already do not believe me, but I have to also add that the eel that was our only source of electricity and light kept zoning out. This made it increasingly difficult.

I hope you understand.

Yours Sincerely,

Sneha Raghavan

The Sound of Music still works the same magic on me as it did when i first watched it a whole 10 years ago.

Filiae Melioris Aevi.

Why does MSN not work?
Its like a curse!

Everytime I get PC time, something goes wrong.
A suitable reaction would be "Psh."

Today was farewell assembly.
I didn't cry. Not a tear. I almost feel guilty.
I laughed an awful lot, and coughed even more

but i didn't cry.

I did feel horrible about the fact that we have 2 more days left in RGS though. I've been here 4 years, but it seems like so much longer. It seems like I never was anywhere else.

Sec one- barely knew anybody. I was the skinniest idiot in the world, and I tried to make up for it with other things. Needless to say, I failed, and made more enemies than i did friends. I hated this year, although I didn't realise that until much later. I was vicious.

Sec two- the year went by very fast. I wasn't very stable. Mentally, Emotionally, anything. I had friends, finally, and it felt good. The year was alright, but I was not.

Sec three- a horrible year. the worst i've ever had. but 308 was a fantastic class, and i was glad to be a part of it. i was glad to have stable friends, and i think i must have earned as much of their hatred as i did love them. I was as unstable as they were stable. I hardly even want to think about it. I'm just glad the year got over. Cochin was brilliant, though.

Sec four- fantastic year. I finally got it. I finally understood. And I finally worked. It paid off, more or less. I think i stabilised. Maybe a bit to much at times, but i think i balanced myself out more or less. Mended friendships, sorted out my life. Found myself, you could say.

And suddenly- I've become a part of the Class of 2005, I'm not a Sec Four anymore.

):

I must add this in-

I'm sorry to anyone I have hurt, physically or emotionally over the years. I have been a bitch at times, but i hope you will forgive me. I am working towards change. I've got a blueprint for change being worked out, in the pages of my notebook. Solid plans. Things like how i have to talk less and listen more, how I have to be more serious, and not just laugh all the time. Not everything is about laughter anymore.

I'm sorry if i said words that hurt you, to Sindhu, Shrew, Sushma, and Dee especially. i can recall particular incidences i have said horrible and hurtful things to you. I realise now, that instead of wishing everyone else would change, if i had looked at myself a little more, we could all have been happier. I was unreasonable, and i apologise.

I'm sorry if i have generally been a pain in the butt. please tell me, and i will be willing to change. I can be a hypocrite at times, and i will try to change that. But please don't bitch about me. I hate it when people do that, and find that very difficult to forgive. Especially if you consider yourself my friend.

I do this sometimes too, and i disgust myelf. I am making efforts to reduce it, and I think i can. Just work with me.

And thank you to everyone who has put up with me, everyone in the Class of 2005.

to The Koottam [i will do a more detailed thank you to all of you in another entry]: for being such supportive friends through the years. For putting up with me in m most annoying times, and for being absolutely frank with me. I don't know ayone else who would have been this patient with me, and i thank you all so much for that.

To Jay: Thank you for Cochin. Thank you for dances in the rain. Thank you for bus stop talks. Thank you for underwear pictures. Thank you for everything, I don't know if i've ever told you how much you mean to me.

To Shree: Thank you for Cochin. For always making me laugh, heartlessly and without second thought. Thank you for listening to me talk, and for gushing with me over the same people. For bus rides, as short as they may be. For photo chechis, and don't call me chechis. You mean a lot to me too shree, though I may not always show it the way i want to.

To Vania: Thanks for hating me. I'll always take Shit to be an endearing term. Always. and I will always reciprocate with love, vania. :)

To Huiting: Beverly Hills! Thats where i wanna be! :) Thanks for filling me in when i slept in class, for laughing at all my nonsense, for always asking me if i was alright. No thanks for the horrible massages, but thanks for trying anyway. Thank you for wonderful memories, I'm very glad I got to know you.

To Vanessa: For white polo shirts and philo lessons. For rolling your eyes at everything i said, and for laughing uncontrollably although you tried very hard to hide it at times. You know you want to man. Just let it out.

To Olivia: For all the fun we had during art lessons, and for all the times you asked me if i was alright when i wasn't so alright. Thanks for just being there. I'll never forget you olives.:)

To the RGS graduating batch of 2005:
We've been through more than our fair share of everything. Its hard to believe its all over, but I'm glad i spent it with the people i did. We're brilliant, we truly are.

Filiae Melioris Aevi.
Daughters of a Better Age.

Yesterday someone told me I probably wouldn't even cry at their funeral.

I so would. I would cry at funerals. I really would.
I may not cry at Secondary 4 farewell assemblies.

But i will cry at a funeral.
Especially if its someone i know. knew?